The defence The Popcorn Loyalist
“Sincerity is not manipulation.”
The film risks embarrassment to make emotion communal, and that openness is harder than fashionable detachment.
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The Seven Year Hitch
Romance · Comedy · TV Movie · 2012
Jennifer and Kevin are childhood best friends who have lived together, platonically, as adults for many years. When Jennifer decides to marry her cheating, manipulative boyfriend, Bryce Kevin has to stop the wedding to protect her from making, what he believes is, a terrible mistake. With a little help from his brother and neighbor Kevin discovers that he and Jennifer are already legally married due to common law, having lived together for seven years and, as such, Jennifer can not marry Bryce.
Movie details
The Seven Year Hitch
2012 Romance · Comedy · TV Movie 1h 26m
Critical arithmetic
One number, for now.
Scores change. Arguments endure.
TMDB
6.0 / 10
Community rating
Jennifer and Kevin are childhood best friends who have lived together, platonically, as adults for many years. When Jennifer decides to marry her cheating, manipulative boyfriend, Bryce Kevin has to stop the wedding to protect her from making, what he believes is, a terrible mistake. With a little help from his brother and neighbor Kevin discovers that he and Jennifer are already legally married due to common law, having lived together for seven years and, as such, Jennifer can not marry Bryce.
CriticWise case file
What this film says about your taste.
Not a recommendation score. A measure of how closely the film’s taste signals resemble yours.
The archetype split
Who fights over The Seven Year Hitch?
For the defence
The Popcorn Loyalist
“Big screen, big feelings, no apologies.”
Read their case For the prosecution
The Big-Idea Head
“You watch with your brain, not your gut.”
Read their objectionThe split comes from the same five-axis model used by the test, not audience ratings or review sentiment.
Taste neighbourhood
Nearby on the taste map.
TMDB supplies the candidates. CriticWise reorders them by craft, strangeness, prestige, emotion, and pace.
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The Mistle-Tones
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The Enchanted Christmas Cake
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Marrying Mr. Darcy
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Schoolteacher Elizabeth Scott and businessman/philanthropist Donovan Darcy are blissfully in love and newly engaged. As the weeks fly by and the arrangements for their small autumn wedding grow more elaborate and Donovan, wrapped up in his work, is increasingly unavailable. Reminded yet again of their tremendous differences in background and temperament, Elizabeth can’t help but ask herself: should she marry Mr. Darcy?
Wedding Season
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Pressured by their immigrant parents to find spouses, two Indian-Americans pretend to date in order to survive a summer of weddings – but find themselves falling for each other as they struggle to balance who they are with who their parents want them to be.
Yoh! Bestie
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Thando is perpetually unlucky in love, but when her bestie returns from his travels with a fiancée in tow, she's forced to face a new emotion — jealousy.
EXmas
Romance · 2023
When Graham decides to surprise his family by traveling home for Christmas, he is shocked to discover them already celebrating with an unexpected guest of honor, his ex-fiancée, Ali. The two exes battle it out to see who the family will pick to stay through Christmas Day and who must go.
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Names above the title
The people responsible.
Cast & crew
Directed by
Bradford May
Written by
Gregg Rossen · Brian Sawyer
Natalie Hall
Jennifer
Darin Brooks
Kevin
Ryan Doom
Bryce
John Sloan
Jeremy
George Wendt
Mr. Henderson
Frances Fisher
Mrs. Von Hoffman
Katy Stoll
Sally
Court is in session
Put The Seven Year Hitch on trial.
Two incompatible taste archetypes. One film. Read the arguments, then issue a completely binding cultural ruling.
The prosecution The Big-Idea Head
“The strings are showing.”
Every cue tells you exactly what to feel and when, leaving sentiment to do the work character should have done.